Athan: [Old man voice] Why hello there, welcome to another episode of The Grotto. [Back to normal] I don’t know what voice I want to use for the intro still, I’m trying to figure it out. Thank you for supporting The Grotto though, and listening. If you like what you’re listening to, please consider visiting the website, thegrottopod.com or visit the Patreon, patreon.com/thegrottopod, where you get early access to instrumentals as I finish them, behind the scenes, other- cool stuff. I dunno, we’re gonna add a game and stuff there too, it’s cool stuff it’s gonna be fine. If everyone that’s currently a paid member on the Patreon could do me a favor and send me a singular word, I want to… start doing this thing where we build as long a sentence as we can with the Patreon subscribers. I just uh- I don’t know the best way to reach out to everybody, and I figure that everybody listens to the show so that’s probably the best… way. I dunno just message me on discord or something or message me on patreon I guess. I’ll start, the first word is ‘It’s’ and then, we’ll build from there. I’d like to thank all our patrons so far [x] for supporting the show. If you really like the show please consider going to all platforms and giving it a five-star rating. If you’re going to give it less than five stars, just… I dunno just… shit in my mouth. Just take a big shit right in my- Thank you for listening, enjoy the show. The Grotto is a linearly progressive podcast, where each episode leads into the next one. If you’re starting from here I’d highly recommend you go back to episode 1 and start from there instead. Otherwise you’re going to be very confused. If- the further this goes on, the more confused you’ll be, so… start from Episode- start from Episode 1.
Athan: This episode contains some Loud and Sudden Noises – timestamps in the description. In addition it also contains some Depictions of Gore as well as some Claustrophobia. Listener Discretion is advised.
Matt (Narrating): Before I went to sleep last night the pain in my side was only a dull lurking presence. I mistakenly believed that the worst was over and that the pain would subside as the healing began, but by the next morning, it was as if the injury was demanding to be acknowledged in all its excruciating majesty. With each inhale, a sharp piercing agony surged through my torso, as if a thousand needles were driven into my chest over and over. The pain ebbed and flowed like a cruel tide, receding only to return with renewed ferocity. Even the mere thought of coughing or laughing sent shivers of dread down my spine, knowing that such simple acts would provoke the wrath of my torn flesh. The muscles around my ribs, co-conspirators in my suffering, tensed and spasmed. The inflammation around the break was like a fire, smoldering beneath my-
David (overlapping): Hey Matty! How’s my favorite little caving survivor feeling today?
Matt: Uhh, Hey! Hey David, um, I’m good, I’m good. I mean I don’t really feel like hula hooping… right now, but I’ll be… I’ll- I’m fine, I’m fine. By the way, thanks for staying with me at the hospital. I- hate hospitals enough as it is, and they are 1000% worse when you’re alone.
David: Are you kidding? I couldn’t leave you like that. I’m- I’m really sorry..
Matt: What? What do you mean? No, David, no it’s fine y-wha- sorry for what? You have nothing to apologize for, seriously.
David: I mean I’m the one that talked you into going into that cave, dude. I mean when it seemed like you might actually take up the hobby with me I- I think I got a little carried away. There are plenty of beginner caves we could’ve gone to I… shouldn’t have rushed you.
Matt (overlapping): David- David, it’s-it’s fine seriously, It’s not your fault. I had a great time, up until I got hurt, and I got hurt because I made a mistake. You warned me not to make too much noise and that’s exactly what I did. Way too early into the trip. Embarrassingly early, honestly. In fact I… I think I want to go back.
David: Okay damn. You sure you don’t wanna take more time? You-You just had a near death experience.
Matt (overlapping): Okay-okay, let’s calm down. Near death is not quite the same as full death, okay, first off. And secondly I’ve learned from my fuck-ups and I’m glad you introduced me to spelunking, and I want to keep doing it with you. I think it’s fun. I want to go back.
David: Alright, well, great! Uh- by the way you can totally keep calling it spelunking, but people call it caving now. You do kinda sound like a Calvin and Hobbes comic when you call it spelunking.
Matt (Audio Recording): Brief Intermission: Jokes on David I actually love Calvin and Hobbes, but whatever, continuing.
David: Anyways, let’s give you enough time to heal and then we can take another shot at it. There’s actually this beginner cave under the library with this wild helictite formation-
Matt (Narrating): And that’s when I saw Emily’s sister ordering at the counter. We used to be the best of friends, but after the… accident, I tried to give her space. Before I could decide whether I wanted to say Hi or stay silent and avoid her, our eyes met and she walked over towards our booth.
David: Lily! How’s it going girl?
Lillian: Hey David!
Matt: Hey… Lillian, um. Hows- uh- how’s it goin?
Lillian: What happened to you?
Matt: It’s- It’s a long story, I don’t really wanna-
David (overlapping): Caving accident! This guy is a maniac. Homie just got outta the hospital and he’s already trying to get me to take him again.
Lillian: Yeah… That- uh, sounds about right. Um, alright well… I- it was good to see y’all. I- I’m gonna go ahead and head out.
Matt: Okay, um.
David: See ya!
Matt: Bye. Bye… Lillian.
Matt (Narrating): I told myself I gave her distance so she could grieve, but in reality I think it’s just too painful. She’s like her sister in a lot of ways and whenever I see her it just makes me think about what I’ve lost. Maybe I made the right choice. It seems like whatever distance I created, she multiplied.
David: Was that weird? That was weird, right? Is everything okay between you two?
Matt: It’s… it’s fine, it’s complicated, uh- I don’t- . Listen David I- the rock, the heli- the[mumbling]- the one you mentioned earlier, the rock sounds cool and all. But I really want to go back to the same cave from the other night. What’s it called again?
David: The one you almost died in? That’s Shade’s End, and no. We should take it easy and get you more experience before we go back. There’s a lot of vertical climbing in there and after everything, I’d rather be safe than sorry. How- How am I more anxious about this than you? You’re the one who was almost buried alive.
Matt: I don’t know. Something about that one just… it just clicked with me. It was… comforting and it’s been a while since I’ve felt that way.
David: Okay Matty, I’ll- I’ll think about it. But I’m not taking you anywhere near a cave until you recover which, per the doctor, means at least six weeks. [Matt: Six? No-] Caving tests your physical limits without an injury.
Matt: David, David I’m- No. There’s no way it’s gonna take that long, okay. It’s just some thing doctors say to cover their fucking ass. She’s blowing it way out of proportion, because she doesn’t wanna get sued and she wants to keep prescribing me pills. Fuckin’ big pharma, and some bullshit like that okay. It’s not that big a deal, I’ll be good to go in a day, maybe two, maybe three. I hurt but I’m fine. Gimme a day, one day. I’ll be fine.
David: No, I’m serious about this one, Matty. It’s not happening until you recover completely. Plus you don’t even remember how you made it out of the cave in the first place. Your injury’s one thing but memory loss is another. We need to take time to make sure you’re really okay. But don’t worry, nothing cures amnesia like [passionately] Bing Bong Burritos Baby! You sit tight and I’ll go get our order. I think I wanna try a Bang Tang this time. I tried the quesadilla last time and it just wasn’t right.
Matt (Narrating): I know what you’re probably wondering. When are we going to acknowledge the note? Well, right now, technically, but I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around what it means. How did I get a note from you? Am I dead? Are we both dead? Is there ghosts? Maybe portals? Alternate dimensions? Everything I’ve been coming up with sounds ridiculous but, I guess getting a note from your dead girlfriend is also pretty ridiculous when you think about it. I wanted to tell David what happened, how I saw you, and the real reason why I wanted to go back to Shade’s End. But I didn’t know how to explain any of this without freaking him out, or coming across like a lunatic. He was worried enough already.
Matt (Narrating): David and I parted ways and I headed back to the apartment and unloaded my cave bag. I did a quick inventory, making sure I was as prepared as I could be. Headlamp, check. Harnesses, check. Straps, check. Cord, check. First-aid kit, snacks, water bottle, check. Whistle, check. Knife… I couldn’t find, but it’s fine. I probably won’t need it. After almost dying I had intended to give it all back to David, and I’m just lucky I found your letter first. If we’re being honest with ourselves, the idea of going back to the cave-in terrifies me. I’m having a hard enough time sleeping with the lights off, let alone going back to the scene of the crime. But if that’s where I saw you then… guess that’s where I’m going. And this time, I’m going alone.
Matt (Narrating): As I left the light and fresh air of the outside behind me, the familiar rush of anxiety welled up, a tight knot in my chest, but I continued walking. Without David guiding the path, I was worried about getting lost. Thankfully, the various graffiti helped me navigate the tunnels without too much trouble, and the water levels had dropped which allowed me to take a more direct path. My first and most obvious route was towards the chamber with the pool, where I found you crying. Of course, all that ended up being there was a wall of stone and dirt that was left by the cave-in. I pressed in, checking for any soft points that I could maybe dig a new path, but I’m not a fucking gopher and I needed to find a detour. I started wandering which in hindsight is probably not the best idea in a cave. The graffiti worked as sort of a haphazard trail marker. There was a crudely drawn sun in one corridor, a series of differently coloured handprints worked their way down a vertical shaft in another, names and dates were etched alongside simple drawings. There was this one collection of symbols around a formation of… crystal-like things that seemed to tell a story, [Matt (Recording): It’s called Selenite.] but I wasn’t able to make any sense of it. There was this palpable feeling of familiarity for each new piece I came across until I found the all too familiar diamond, this time in green instead of red but undoubtedly made by the same artist. I could smell the fumes, and the paint was tacky to the touch. I don’t quite know how old it was but I-I dunno, I touched it okay, I’m not Sherlock Holmes. It felt new. I was doing my best not to overexert myself, but having to bend and twist through the narrow passages aggravated my injured side. The dull ache became a non-dull ache, a loud ache, a sharp ache, you might say. I unzipped my suit and saw beads of fresh blood seeping into the bandages. I wasn’t quite ready to stop. There had to be another path to you, or I wouldn’t have been able to make it out before. I just needed to keep looking.
[Song – Looking For Answers]
Matt (Narrating): I searched for hours, but couldn’t find a route around the cave-in. If I could just remember how I got out… then I’d be able to retrace my steps back to you. Maybe David was right. If I take time to rest and heal, my memory may return. I decided to start making my way back. That’s when I heard him.
Stranger: I hope you like the green. Don’t want this to get too repetitive and… I think it’s more fun for both of us when it’s a surprise.
Matt: Oh hey, you’re the graffitier, you do all the… you’re doing all the… diamonds right?
Stranger: It’s graffitist, and yeah… these are mine.
Matt: Nice. Was that uh- is that your work in The Grotto too?
Stranger: It… was. It’s gone now. Someone erased it.
Matt: Oh damn, that’s a bummer. Um well, hey, I like your stuff, if that… helps at all. Are you… Spelunki- I mean, caving, are you caving alone? I thought I heard you talking to somebody, but I don’t see anybody, I haven’t seen anybody around.
Stranger: Not caving, just passing through.
Matt: Oh um, okay. Well I’m… looking for… someone but, eh- it’s-it’s stupid. I’m gonna go. Have fun, I guess.
Stranger: Hmm. Funny.
Matt: What’s funny?
Stranger: Who are you looking for?
Matt: No it’s- it’s nothing. I gotta get home.
Stranger: Someone… missing?
Matt: Not… exactly.
Stranger: Hmm. Dead then.
Matt: What?
Stranger: Don’t worry youre not crazy, or… if you are it’s not cause you’re seeing dead people. This place is like that. Been trying to figure it out for a while, made decent progress too. Maybe I can help you. Why don’t you tell me about them? How did they die?
Matt (Narrating): I wouldn’t normally tell my tragic life story to a complete stranger but I couldn’t help it. It was such a relief for someone to be accepting of what was happening, what I was seeing, so I told him everything. About the crash, seeing you after the cave-in, finding your letter. He just stood there quietly, unphased, accepting everything I said. It was… nice to have made a friend that I could talk to.
Stranger: Yeah. I think that makes sense.
Matt: Wait, how does that make sense?
Stranger: Do you like knives?
Matt: Do I like knives? Uh, n-no, not… not really. Um- they make me sort of squeamish, to be honest.
Stranger: Squeamish, how squeamish can you be? You brought this after all. [Sound of a knife being pulled out.]
Matt: Whoa, wait hold on. What the- What the fuck man? That’s my knife. When did you… How did you… find that? I-
Stranger: If I held a gun to your head, and said that you would die unless you took this knife and cut off a finger, could you do it?
Matt: Okay, that’s um- that’s enough of whatever… this is. Can I- Can I have that back? Maybe?… Actually… you know what, you- you keep it. I’m-I’m-I’m gonna head out. It was nice- It was nice to meet you.
Stranger: That sounds like a no to me, but that’s okay. I can do it for you. Come on, you should know how this works. Come here.
Matt: No- Back off dude!
Stranger: I said {come here!}
Matt: Ah Fuck!
Matt (Narrating): I hurtled through the twisted tunnels, my heart thundering in my chest. The only sound louder than my ragged breathing was the echoing footsteps of my pursuer, and the sound of the knife scraping against the stone as he stomped after me. Even with the adrenaline pumping through my system, my injured chest screamed with every panicked movement. I ducked under some low overhangs and clambered over slippery stones, each movement a gamble between speed and the unbearable agony it caused, turning my escape into a desperate lopsided shamble, slowing me down, making me an easy target. I knew I couldn’t outrun him – not in this condition, and I needed to hide. I spotted an alcove, just big enough to conceal my body. I squeezed into the space, biting back a cry as the pressure sent waves of pain coursing through me. I heard my pursuer getting closer then going quiet. I held my breath, trying to still the heaving in my chest that threatened to betray my location. Suddenly he sprinted towards me, his heavy but deliberate footsteps. I pressed back into the alcove in a panicked attempt to put distance between me, and him. Then I fell back. The narrow crevice that I was hiding in opened up into a larger chamber. I scrambled backward, away from the opening, expecting him to slither through after me. There was no more running left in me. I got to my feet, leaving blood on the stone from my torn hands and knees. I snatched a jagged rock off the ground, resigned that I’d have to defend myself.
Matt [Yelling]: Get the fuck back! I will bash your Fucking head in!
Matt (Narrating): He never showed up.
[Sound of a car alarm going off.]
Matt: What’s that noise though? I decided to investigate the room I was in. I turned and stared, my mind taking time to understand what I was seeing. Halfway embedded into the ceiling was a white sedan, our sedan, just… jutting out of the rock. Suddenly, [paper fluttering] an envelope fell from the ceiling. With a note.
Emily (Note): So, it’s been a while since you left. The pain of losing you is definitely still there but, I’m… learning to live with it, I think. I know now that you wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life grieving you. So, with that in mind, I’m trying to find… peace… to accept that you’re gone. I will always cherish the memories we made. You’ll forever be in my heart but, I know it’s about time for me to start moving forward.
Matt: The car shifted above me.
[Lots of paper fluttering.]
Emily (Notes): {I still can’t believe this is real Matt.(Every Morning I wake up just hoping you’ll be next to me) (A waking nightmare that never ends.) It doesn’t make sense.(This has to be a mistake.) (How can you just-) (right here anymore) It doesn’t make sense. None of it makes sense.(I still can’t believe this is real.) How could you be so careless? How could you leave me like this? (I’m trying my best to move forward but-) I’m left all alone because you- (It’s just gone!) couldn’t keep it together. (All of it is gone!) How could you be so careless? All alone because you couldn’t keep your shit together. (I’m trying not to move on-) We had plans Matt.(All of it is gone.) A whole life to live together, and now, (it’s just gone) it hurts- (All of it is gone.)it hurts-( – trying my best to-) it hurts-(it’s just gone.) it hurts- it hurts. All of it is- (All of it is Gone.)}
Matt [crying]: Stop! [Paper stops falling.] I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.
[Outro – Hurt (Cover)]
Athan: Big shoutouts to everybody involved in this episode. We have basically full cast right now. We got Taylor Michaels as David, we got sleepyghost as Ambrose – still unnamed in the show, whatever. We’ve got Natalie uh- nataliesdreaming as Emily’s sister, Lillian. And we have Lyssa Jay, as Emily. Everybody in one spot. Big ole happy family. If you like any of them and you better, you can find their socials and links and everything in the description. I’m also going to – for absolutely no reason, other than its fantastic, plug WOE.BEGONE in the description again, because if you’re not listening to WOE.BEGONE, you’re a fuckin’ nerd. No I’m kidding, but seriously you should listen to WOE.BEGONE, Dylan’s stuff is fantastic. I also am gonna plug myself, I stream on Twitch uh- twitch.tv/athansmusic and I have an album coming out soon that we are not using in the show at all, so that’s pretty uh- pretty cool as well. So check it out. Thank you everybody for listening, and I’ll see you next episode. Goodbye.
[Outro music ends.]
OUTTAKES:
– Derek: Not caving, [Discord notification: Bo-boop.] just passing through, bo-boop! [Athan (background): bo-boop] bo-boop-bo-beep. [Athan: I don’t think that picked up it’s fine.]
– Lyssa Jay: -ice-yehhh. [Bursts out laughing.]
– Derek: I keep saying ‘hmm’, it’s too many hmms. [Athan?: HMMMMM.] [Growly] HhhuGH Makes sense.
– Lyssa Jay: All alone, bleft in the wake of your tornado, and… I can’t believe I lost the fucking line.
– Derek: Do you like knives?
Athan: Do you like knives?
Derek [salesmanlike]: Do you like knives?
Athan: Do you want to buy some? Are you familiar with Cutco?
[Athan, Natalie, and Derek all laughing.]
Athan: I have to sell thirty a year or else I lose my-
Derek: Or else they beat my ass when I get back to HQ.
Athan: I’m sixteen and I’m in a predatory job, taking advantage of my free time.
Derek: God damn is it that bad.
– Derek: You brought this after all.
Natalie: Boi-oi-oi-oing.
Athan: That’s not my knife.
– Taylor Michaels: In fact there’s this beginner cave, under the library with this