Athan: [weird little guy voice] Hi, welcome to the grotto, [normal voice] no I don’t like that either, fuck, well okay, it’s fine, uh welcome to the Grotto, this is Episode 7, thank you all for listening to the show, we love each and every one of you so much, so-so much. If you like what you’re listening to, please consider visiting the website thegrottopod.com or consider visiting and supporting the patreon, patreon.com/thegrottopod where you can get early access to stuff, instrumentals, as well as some other rewards. I recently added a tier that no one signed up for where I will mail you a rock. So if you like rocks, just, y’know. Uh. If you like what you’re listening to, join the discussion! We’re on Discord a lot talking about the show, other shows, theories, speculations, and also just generally how weird the show is so uh, go ahead and get in there it’s thegrottopod.com/discord to connect. I would like to thank all of our current Patreons this month, and I am going to thank all our current Patreons this month. [x]. I would like to say that I had asked everyone to send me a WORD so we could do an intro word and then the only person to send me a word is [x] that said “I don’t know if you did the word thing yet, but ‘Juicy’.” So the phrase right now is, “It’s Juicy.” So just. Oh No… If you really like the show, please consider giving it a five-star rating on the listening platform of your choice. If you really like the show please consider writing ‘TheGrottoPod’ in as a write-in candidate for your next senate race. If you’re in the states. If you’re not in the states, just… listen twice. Thanks for listening and enjoy the show.

Athan: The Grotto is a chronologically progressing podcast where each episode leads into the next one. If you’re starting on this episode, I’d highly recommend going to the first episode and starting from that point.

Athan: Warning: This episode contains minor loud noises (timestamps in the description), as well as mentions of Lost Fingies.

Matt: [Sigh.] Today I got out of bed. And I don’t mean to just use the bathroom. I went into the kitchen. To make food. Like a person. Y’know, I can work through the pain, I mean I’ve done it before, but, fuck, I didn’t realize how hard it is getting used to a part of you missing. I tried to make coffee today and I instinctively grabbed the cup with my left hand and dropped it, and then I accidentally slipped and hit the coffee machine 17 times with my fist. On accident. Definitely. I’ve been ignoring calls from David this week. I know, I know, he just wants to make sure I’m okay, and check on me, but I don’t want to be checked on. I want to be better. I don’t like being in a position where people have to take care of me. I mean, I like when people take care of me, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to need them to take care of me. I like to be pampered, it’s different. Admittedly, the first thing I did after the dust settled and I was alone, was google “lost a finger” but the results were what to do immediately once you’ve severed a finger, and like, it’s gone, so I don’t need medical advice, I just wanted to find people in similar situations, maybe some advice in general? So I googled “lost a finger reddit” and that didn’t make me feel much better because the first post I saw was someone describing how they lost their finger years ago and while yes, phantom pain was real, it didn’t impact their life at all, and they were still able to like, be in the military and shoot guns. Meanwhile, you heard my earlier coffee story, I’ve been having a pretty shit time with it. I think that may be less about losing a finger, and more about the type of people we are, though. Like, homie’s in the military. I-I-I’m ranting, I guess long story short, I think I may have made a mistake. I’ve made quite a few, but I’m maybe not seeing you? Not in a real sense. It may just be grief, or guilt. I think I need to come to terms with it being my fault and focus on getting better. I don’t know how else to—

[Pounding on the door.]

David (through the door): Matty? I know you’re in there. Why aren’t you answering my calls? I know you’re weird about me asking if you’re okay, so I won’t. I’m here for completely professional reasons, I promise. Can I come in, please?

[Matt opens the door.]

Matt: Hey David. [Amused] W-Why do you have a tool bag?

David: Your ever loyal handyman has arrived. I have a screen door out in my truck, and I’m here to install. You know, to uh, to replace the one I wrecked.

Matt: Yeah, but you get a pass because you thought I was in trouble. And you were right.

David: The pass is accepted but ignored. I wanna do this. I enjoy working with my hands anyways. Plus, it gives me an excuse to make sure you’re okay.

Matt: Fine, fine, I guess I could be persuaded to accept some free labor. But do you want to come in and maybe get a drink first? Not coffee but something else. [Murmuring] Don’t worry about it.

David: Sure! Works for me!

[David enters the apartment.]

Matt: David. You know that toolbelt is a little overkill, don’t you?

David: I know, but I think it looks cool, and it makes me feel… prepared.

Matt: Okay. I-I didn’t say I don’t like it, I just said it’s a little overkill.

David: So how’s mandatory home life treatin’ ya?

Matt: David, I’m not on house arrest, I just, I need to take it easy for a while. But so far it’s… okay. Definitely overdue for some rest but I can already feel the cabin fever setting in.

David: Well maybe we can go out later after we get the door set up! Y’know, get you out of the house, get some fresh air… something- something chill, and not subterranean.

Matt: Sure. I’d like that, that’d be great. It’s a date.

[Theme – Hush]

David: Alrighty, quick pit stop for snacks, and then we are [dramatic voice] off to the theatre! [Normal] You want anything?

Matt: I don’t know, I’m kind of in a juice mood. Like a-Like a guava juice maybe.

David: Not sure they have that, but I’ll do my best.

Matt (overlapping): David- they definitely have it.

David: I’ll be back in a minute!

Matt (overlapping): It’s a mixer, it goes in like, like a margarita—

[Car door shuts.]

Matt: Okay he’s gone… It’s fine.

[Matt sighs]

Matt: Let’s see what music David has on here…

[Click of the car radio.] [In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins starts playing.]

Matt: Ohhhh no, David! What are you listening—fuck, dude, he’s got some old person music, dude. I gotta- I gotta teach- I gotta show him some good bands. I don’t think I’ve heard this song in years. Is this- is this from The Lion King? Fuck me, or is that- is that Tarzan? Oh, whatever dude. Ugh. I dunno.

[Matt drums his hands on the dash to the drum solo of the song]

Matt: Okay, this song kinda slaps. Yeah I forgot about this one. This one- this one’s a’ight, this one’s a’ight.

[Car door opens.]

Matt: Oh shit dude you’re back quick—oh fUCK! [Punching noises] Get the- get the fuck out—I-I’m not—

Ambrose: Oh, relax. I’m just here to talk.

Matt: I don’t give a fuck, get the fuck out!

Ambrose (overlapping): Let’s turn this off. [Car radio clicks off.]

Matt: I’m not gonna relax, you attacked me and now you tell me to relax? Get the- get the fuck out of my car!

Ambrose: Yeah, no, correction, you thought I was attacking you. And then you ran away screaming. I wasn’t actually trying to hurt you.

Matt: Mhmm, yeah, mhm, no, correction: Um, you pulled a fucking knife on me mid conversation, and tried to murder me in a cave. So, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but you got all fucking weird and sinister, so how about you get all weird and sinister out of my fucking car.

Ambrose: Well, when you squeeze a donut, you find out what’s inside.

Matt (overlapping): What the fuck?

Ambrose: I wanted to see what comes out of you when you get squeezed. [Matt [laughing incredulously]: What?] Speaking of, you left this… Again.

Matt (overlapping): What are you—don’t just take that out, fuck, um, I don’t want anyone to see that, just fucking, I don’t have it, it’s not mine, okay? It-it’s just a knife, I’m gonna just put it in my pocket, okay. Don’t- don’t mention the knife again.

Ambrose: It’s a nice knife. So, did it work? Did you see her again?

Matt: No, all that happened was I got hurt.

Ambrose: I figured. Things were out of sync. I’m betting it’ll work now. So, when are you going back out?

Matt: Sorry, um, I don’t really know you, or what your deal is, but all of that was a fucking mistake. As you can see, I’m a little messed up now, I just want to put it all behind me.

Ambrose: Really? You spoke with such conviction, before. How you would do anything to get Emily back. But then you give yourself an owie and now you just wanna put it all behind you?

Matt: An-an owie? I lost- I lost my fucking finger! and it was pointless, it didn’t even me—nothing fucking happened!

Ambrose: I told you, things {were out of sync}

Matt: No, I don’t care—

Ambrose (overlapping): Do you even realize how close you are?

Matt: Look, dude, I’m done, I just want to be left alone, and have a normal fucking day. Now, you need to get out of the car before—oh, fuck.

David [from outside the car]: Uh, Hello?

[The car window rolls down.]

Ambrose: Hi there. Sorry, is this your car? I was just catching up with Matt.

David: Oh, no, you’re good! Sorry Matt, they didn’t have your flavor. Uh so I got you a variety pack? They got tropical, wild berry, and citrus. Uh, do you want a juice box? There’s plenty. I’m David, by the way.

Ambrose: Oh, I’m Ambrose. And yeah, juice would be great.

David: Ambrose, huh? Cool. Well, you have the wild name, so you get the wild berry.

Ambrose: Okay. [He sips.]

David: So, how do you two know each other?

Ambrose: We’re recently acquainted. We ran into each other at—

Matt (interrupting): Shh-somewhere, uh, outside of, of caves, the cave store, Caves R Us, before you showed me the Grotto! Ambrose is uh, he’s into caving too. Believe it or not.

Ambrose: Right, yeah… Yeah, in fact, we were just talking about getting a caving group together. Did you want to go too? The more the merrier.

David: Oh, no, we are on a hiatus from caving for a while. You might wanna hold off too, I’m-I’m not sure if you watch the news, but it is not safe these days.

Ambrose: Not safe? Really? How do you mean?

David: Someone was attacked. At Shade’s End. And they still don’t know who did it. They’re probably still out there.

Ambrose: Attacked… Oh. Oh, I get it. Those bandages. And your finger. It was you? You were attacked?

Matt: …Yeah. Yeah, yeah I was.

Ambrose: I’m so sorry to hear that. Did you get a good look at him?

Matt: It was all a blur, really. Happened so fast I…I don’t really like talking about it, if you don’t mind.

Ambrose: That’s understandable. To even think of what goes on in the mind of someone like that is… unsettling. [He sips.] Too bad you had to experience it first hand. Whoever did it will get caught. The truth always comes out eventually, don’t you think, Matt?

Matt: Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

Ambrose: Well, overcoming such… personal challenges is commendable. So here’s to you, finding the strength within yourself to keep going. [He sips.]

Matt: Yeah. Uh, sure.

David: Uh, cheers, I guess?

Ambrose: …I should really get going.

[Car door opens.]

Ambrose: Thank you for the juice. And I’m sure I’ll be seeing you all later.

David: Alrighty then. Uh, see you next time I guess.

[David gets in.]

David: So, he’s interesting… Matt? Are you okay?

Matt: What—Uh, I’m actually- I’m actually hurting again. Sorry, but can we raincheck on the play? I just wanna go home and lay down.

David: Yeah, of course! I’ll drive you home, leave you with your juice. You rest up, and we’ll go out again whenever you’re ready.

[Song – Empty]

Matt: David dropped me off. I told him I was gonna take a nap, so he left for the day. Of course, that’s not true. I hate feeling stuck in this in-between spot. I know I haven’t been in the best frame of mind lately, and the best thing for me is to rest and get my head right. But Ambrose’s thinly veiled threats about the truth coming out weren’t lost on me. I can’t let that happen. I’m not entirely sure how David would react, but I don’t want to lose the only good thing I have going. When we first talked, Ambrose said he was looking for someone too. Maybe we’re in the same boat. That would at least explain why he’s not letting this go.

[Phone rings.]

David: Hey Matty! I’m sorry if I woke you up. Uh, I just needed to talk to you.

Matt: No, it’s fine, I’ve been up for a little bit. Uh, what’s up?

David: Okay so, I didn’t wanna say anything before, but this has been bouncing around my head all night, and so, here we are. Were you really talking about going back out there again?

Matt: With Ambrose? No, he- he gives me the creeps, no, I promise.

David: I don’t mean going with him, I just mean going at all.

Matt: Oh, no, I’m gonna need to heal first, obviously, but after—

David: Matty, you keep getting hurt. You were almost killed! How can- how can you even be thinking about going back right now, what am I missing?

Matt: David, you’re not missing anything, I told you, I… I like how I feel in the caves.

David: Oh come on, Matt, I like caving too, but you should know as well as anyone how dangerous it is. And I don’t understand why you would go alone, and why you would hide it from me!

Matt: I didn’t hide it from you, I asked you to go with me to Shade’s End, and you said no. What, were you expecting me to get your fucking permission first?

David: No, Matty, of course not. And I said no because you were injured, and that makes things more dangerous for both of us. But I would’ve gone with you if I knew the other option was you going in injured and alone! And I think you know that.

Matt [bitterly]: [Sigh.] I don’t know, David, you wanna psychoanalyze me? Maybe, maybe this has something to do with my dead girlfriend. What do you think of that? What do you think, maybe? And wanting to do something to distract from the pain, doesn’t make me crazy. I’m not sure if you’ve lost someone you really care about, but I can assure you, it’s pretty fucking difficult, okay?

David: Look, I’m not trying to psychoanalyze you. But I know you’re hurting. I can see it, even if we haven’t really talked about it. I’m just worried that all of this caving is doing you more harm than good. I’m the one who introduced you to caving, so I feel some responsibility here. I also just care about you. And I think you’d have an easier time of it if you let people help you. And I can help you. If you want.

Matt: And how exactly are you going to help me, David?

David: I guess we can start with you talking to me? And I can listen. I know I’m not your therapist, but I wanna know what’s going on with you. Whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to go through it alone.

Matt: Why are you here for me like this? You know I’m a trainwreck, right?

David: I don’t think you’re a trainwreck, Matt. I mean, maybe you’re a little off the rails, but we can get you back on them, get you some grease—No, I’m sorry, I’m not- I’m not doing a train metaphor—

Matt: I was drunk, David.

David: Huh?

[Background – Emily’s Theme]

Matt: The crash, David. I was drunk.

David: And you were the one driving?

Matt: Yeah… [Voice breaks] It’s… It’s my fault, okay?

David: No, it’s not- it’s not—you didn’t… oh, Matty. Are you sober now?

Matt: No, yeah, no I… yeah. Since the Grotto.

David: Oh.

Matt: Yeah. I-I should probably go. Just… give you time to judge if it’s even worth helping me.

David: It- it is a lot to process, but… I’m not judging you, Matty. And if you’re trying to scare me off, it’s not working. I still wanna help you.

Matt: Yeah, but it’s a bad idea. I’m not good for other people.

David: I think you can let other people decide that for themselves. And making a mistake doesn’t make you damaged goods.

Matt: David, there’s more going on that I haven’t even told you yet.

David: And that’s okay. But will you talk to me about it?

Matt: Yes. Yes, I’ll tell you. Can I- can I just take the night to get my thoughts together? And we can talk about it tomorrow?

David: Yeah, yeah Matty, that’s- that’s fine. I’ll come over then. Just give me a call, okay?

Matt: Okay, thanks. Sorry, I… I wasn’t expecting to be talking about all this, and my thoughts are just all over the place now.

David: You can take whatever time you need. I-I know this wasn’t easy for you to share. I… I promise to be a safe place for anything else you want to tell me.

Matt: Okay, okay. You’re- [Sigh.] You know you’re way too good for me, right?

David: Well, I’m at an advantage because I’m not the one going through bad times.

Matt: Thanks. Thanks, David. [Sigh.] I-I care about you a lot. Th-thank you.

[Someone knocking ominously at the door.]

Matt: Hold on, someone’s- someone’s at the door. I-I’ll call you, tomorrow, okay?

David: Okay, Matty. Please do. Bye.

[Beep.]

[Matt opens the door.]

Matt: What the fuck—How’d you find where I live? I thought I told you, leave me the fuck alone!

Ambrose: Emily told me to give you this.

Matt (voiceover): Then Ambrose handed it to me. I immediately recognized the design—my-my design. The green and black pattern, the frayed edges… It was the wallet I made. The wallet I made for you. That was with you… when I lost you.

Ambrose: Do you see? It’s working. And she’s almost ready. But we need to move quickly.

Matt: Okay. What do I need to do?

[Outro – Damaged Goods]

[Cut.]

Athan: Thank you for listening to Episode 7 of The Grotto. We have the finale left in two weeks. Uh- We’re going to be doing a live read as well as listening to all of the episodes… On my stream, two weeks from now, so I’ll have links on the website, in the description, and on twitter. Keep an eye out for those. I’d like to thank everybody involved in this episode for being involved in this episode. In no order in particular: we have… the wonderful Taylor Michaels, as always, as David. We have Derek as Ambrose. I was Matt! And then I’d also like to give a shoutout to- not in the episode but, we have: Lyssa Jay as Emily, and Natalie as Lillian. That’s pretty much it- I mean I’m not gonna do any other specific plugs. Stay tuned for the finale and we’ll see y’all in two weeks. Thanks for listening.

OUTTAKES:

– Natalie: Test-test-test-test-t-t-t-t-test-testesttestest. Oh-ouh- ouh naur, it’s-cli- it’s clippin’

– Lyssa: Oh god, now you want me to choke! Huergh. I’m actually really good at dying and choking on water so um- I’ve got practice with this so um, I’ll come back to that later thanks!

– Natalie: I have a- particular set of skills… Fuck. What is the quote? I don’t even know it.

– Lyssa: Do I whimper well? Am I getting an A+ in audio drama? [They laugh.] I gotta get better at screaming and crying, maybe dying. That’ll be fun. I can’t wait. Y’all should kill me off more.

– Lyssa: Beep boop boop. Bloop. Blololoop. Bololoop. That’s Emily’s phone.

– Lyssa: Hi Andy! Wanna mew for the audience? Andy: Meoow!

– Lyssa: Cat. Just gonna yeet the cat real quick.

– Natalie (Bartok from Anastasia Impression): I give ’em a hoo! And a hiiiiiya! And I- And I kick her sir!

– Natalie (Rhythmically): I Put my cat on the mic. [Yelling] MEO-

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